


build your Hopes uP like a Tower

by GilgaNyan (NarryEm)



Series: ♪ Blue Neighbourhood inspired stories ♬ [10]
Category: Ten Count
Genre: Angsty Schmoop, Domestic Fluff, Edgeplay, Explicit Sexual Content, First Dates, First Time, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Multiple Orgasms, Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Parallel Universes, Personality Disorder, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Psychological Drama, Psychologists & Psychiatrists, Smut, Subspace, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-21
Updated: 2016-03-26
Packaged: 2018-05-20 08:54:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5999791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NarryEm/pseuds/GilgaNyan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>*PARALLEL UNIVERSE sorta*</p><p>Shirotani Tadaomi is the type of man you might walk past and not look back at. He works as an administrative secretary for Kuramoto, the president of Tosawa Corporation. He would much rather stay at home and relax with a film noir playing on his television than go for a night-out.</p><p>Kurose Riku is the type of man who draws people in, regardless of his intentions. He’s a psychologist who specialises in behavioural cognitive therapy with his own private practice. He doesn’t mind an occasional night-out with his friends if the mood strikes him.</p><p>When these two men meet by sheer coincidence, what could possibly go awry?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. someone could Love you More

**Author's Note:**

> Title from “LOST BOY” by Troye Sivan.
> 
>  _Ten Count_ is one of my favourite manga of all time! It’s got such a unique plot/central conflict (as opposed to foregoing plot and jumping straight to the smexy bits with zero character and/or plot development as 90% of yaoi couples do) and the character dynamics between Shirotani and Kurose is quite complicated and dynamic. In the original manga, there is a scene where Shirotani wonders if Kurose would still love him without his mysophobia, which in turn inspired this parallel universe-ish fic where I gave Shirotani a different mental health condition
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> Teeny warning for a bit of exposition in the beginning but it’s necessary. Probably.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> friendly reminder that since this is an alternate universe setting, I tweaked both of their personalities to fit **my** stories. I believe that the beauty of AUs is the fact that you can write literally anything. there are stories that work perfectly with canon characterisation and then there are stories that require some adjustments. please keep that in mind

Tadaomi hates it when he has to wait for another train because every single car is full of people. He absolutely loathes it when he is thrown off his schedule, forcing him to come up with a last-second contingency plan as not to thwart what his day was supposed to be like.

Case in point, the next train isn’t due for another five minutes, which is probably enough to make him late for the business meeting that he is supposed to attend alongside his boss this morning. He takes his mobile out of his blazer pocket so that he can explain to his boss why he will most likely be late this morning.

And, of course, some babbling, bumbling baboon had to bump into him, knocking Tadaomi’s mobile out of his hands.

“No!” he gasps. It’s too late. The idiot has sprinted past him without as much as a backward glance and his mobile is lying on the cold hard ground. The screen has been shattered from the impact and the screen is stuck in an in-between state of being locked and showing his email account.

“Are you hurt?” a deep, suave voice asks. Tadaomi looks up, attempting to school his expressions into that of a neutral, non-angry one. The man looks younger than he, with dark hair and matching eyes.

“I’m fine, thank you,” he intones. “Only my mobile has taken some damage.”

The dark-haired man looks as though he is trying to suppress a smile. “I saw what happened. It looked like you were in a hurry to get somewhere.”

Tadaomi slips up and frowns just the tiniest bit as he snaps, “It’s the rush hour; of course I’m going to my workplace in haste. Now that my mobile is broken, I can’t contact my boss to let him know that I will be late for a crucial meeting, nor will I be able to check today’s schedule and monitor for any last minute changes. Pardon me if I’m a bit upset about the fact that my day was ruined before it has even started.”

The other man doesn’t reply to his outburst. He, on the other, continues to regard him with a cool, aloof expression. Tadaomi has no doubt that the dark-haired man is checking him out.

“Hasn’t anyone taught you that it’s rude to stare at people?” Tadaomi asks in the politest tone he can muster.

“I have been told that I can be quite unabashed whenever I get interested in something. Right now, my interest of top priority would be you, sir.” The man reaches into his jacket pocket and hands over a business card to Tadaomi. “Please do forgive my rudeness.  My name is Riku Kurose and I work as a psychosocial therapist, specialising in cognitive behavioural therapy. I usually prefer not to make a judgment call on the fly so I would appreciate it if you could drop by my office, free of charge.  If you keep on living your life in this hectic, rigid schedule of yours, it might affect your everyday functioning adversely.”

Tadaomi gawps at the man. “You _are_ quite shrewd,” Tadaomi affirms.  The next train is nearing the platform.  He takes the card from Kurose and shakes his hand. “Shirotani Tadaomi . I need to go but I will drop by your office when I’ve got some free time so that I can prove to you that I’m perfectly normal and fine without a stranger’s help.”

As Tadaomi wades through the throngs of people to board the train, he thinks that he hears Kurose say: “But Shirotani-san, everybody in this world is their own brand of insanity; we have simply learned to live with it by copying what others do in order to appear _normal_.”

 

 

-

 

 

The day turns out to be a total train wreck for Tadaomi. He has the current month’s schedule backed up to his tablet computer, thank goodness, but the printer in the office has decided to break down completely and the company cafeteria was having issues with the kitchen appliances; and worst of all, Mr. President has fallen ill with a mild case of pneumonia, leaving Tadaomi with all of the president’s executive duties for the time being.

Tadaomi goes home way past his regular work shift, feeling tired to the bone as he calls for a cab. He nearly falls asleep on the car trip and then manages to overpay the driver. (He doesn’t ask for _all_ of the extra change back since he was brought up to be courteous.) Only after he has dined and washed up does he remember the little encounter he had in the morning and takes a closer look at the business card Kurose gave him.

All that he can learn from the card is that Kurose has obtained an M.D. in psychology and that he specialises in cognitive behavioural therapy and dialectical behavioural therapy, along with the address of his office and the office phone number. Kurose’s office hours are Thursday through Saturday and Monday, so Tadaomi decides that he will see Kurose on Friday after work.

 _It’ll all be fine_ , he tells himself.   There’s nothing wrong with being orderly and work-driven. Making up daily schedules weeks in advance helps keep his mind off stressful things when he isn’t working on company projects or assisting Mr. President. He likes to ensure that every project he spear-heads is as close to perfection as he can make it and that is totally acceptable in a competitive career.

Nothing is wrong with him at all.

 

 

-

 

 

“To be frank, I didn’t expect to see you within the week,” Kurose admits, a small smile gracing his lips. “The only reason I can think as to why you are here in office sat on my favourite sofa right now is that you wanted to prove me wrong.”

Tadaomi feels his cheeks heat up. “Can we please get started on the assessment, or whatever you call it?”

“Of course,” Kurose practically purrs. “How are you feeling right now?”

Tadaomi frowns slightly. “A bit nervous but otherwise good, thank you.”

“Do you often find yourself making schedules that encompass every aspect of your life?”

“Yes.”

Tadaomi is sure that he sees the therapist raise an eyebrow just a fraction. “How often do you do that?”

“I have a schedule for everyday.”

“Do you write them down on the day of, the night before, or days in advance?”

“I like to plan my life weeks in advance. As of now, I have the next thirty-seven days planned out down to the minute with room for some flexibility.”

Kurose nods. “How upset do you become if you find yourself in a situation where you are not able to stick to your schedule?”

Tadaomi imagines just that and regrets his decision immediately when his lungs feel like they are trying to squeeze every ounce of air out of themselves. His head spins for a brief moment and his eyes refuse to focus on Kurose’s face.

“I . . . I panic,” Tadaomi confesses. “When my mobile broke the other day, I was on edge the entire day. It didn’t help that my boss has gotten ill so I have to take care of all of the executive _and_ administrative functions at my workplace. Nothing has gone right since that day.”

“How do you feel when an acquaintance of yours cancels an appointment with you last minute?”

Tadaomi narrows his eyes in derision. “I will reschedule but I would try not to meet with them afterwards unless they were colleagues at work.”

“What if a close friend of yours did the same thing?” Kurose looks up from his notepad, staring into Tadaomi’s eyes. Tadaomi finds himself compelled to retain their eye contact.

“I might tell them I am not happy with them and why depending on my mood.”

“When you are in charge of an important project at work, how often are you able to finish them on time?”

Tadaomi scratches at the back of his left hand with his right thumb. “I’m able to finish them well before the deadline most of the time. I have had a couple close calls in the past but they were never late by more than a day or two.”

“Do you find yourself striving for perfection in and outside of your professional career?” Kurose inquires. He has closed his notepad, his right hand reaching out to his side to grab for a garishly bright, neon mug.

“Of course. I think perfectionism is one of the qualities that I possess that make a valuable employee,” Tadaomi divulges.

“Thank you for answering my questions honestly,” Kurose states, almost robotically. “Or, shall I say, almost nearly honestly. Maybe you weren’t aware of it, but you exhibited a lying tic when you answered my question regarding your project punctuality.”

Tadaomi bristles. “I did _not_ realise that I was lying.”

“You fidgeted with your hand, an action that you also performed when you told me that you were a bit nervous but otherwise doing well,” Kurose explains.

Tadaomi stands up, causing the recliner to squeak and rattle in his wake. “I’m sorry, I have to leave.”

“You don’t,” Kurose declares. “You were scratching your left hand with your right-hand thumb again. I have deduced that that is your ‘tell’, so to speak, and you don’t actually have somewhere better to be at this moment. Could you at least stay long enough for me to give you a diagnosis and offer possible treatments?”

“Fine,” Tadaomi grits out through clenched jaws. “What is the verdict, _sensei_?”

Kurose smiles, tight-lipped and eyes as blank as ever. “Obsessive-compulsive personality disorder. From what I have gathered, you are strict about schedules and very detail-oriented. You are obsessed with the idea of perfection and try your best to achieve it in every aspect of your life when it is possible. The fact that you were thrown off the rail due to your mishap with your mobile—forcing you to reschedule and think on your feet—distressed you significantly.”

“I’m not crazy, though!” Tadaomi explodes. “I’m perfectly fine with the way I am!”

“Of course you are,” Kurose agrees. “Personality disorders are when certain parts of an individual’s personality traits are exaggerated to the point of interfering with his daily functioning adversely. You are visibly anxious right now, right here with me because you are not accustomed to sitting in a psychologist’s office under scrutiny. You dislike having to deal with the unexpected. You also prefer working alone because that means that all of the responsibility is on you and you would much rather be the sole person responsible than risk someone getting in the way of perfection as you see it.

“Having a mental health condition doesn’t automatically mean that you are ‘crazy’, Shirotani-san. Everyone has a mental health, be it good, bad, or somewhere in the grey area.”

“And how did you jump to that conclusion at the train station?” Tadaomi questions. “That I must have some mental illness?”

Kurose smiles, this time more genuine and humane. “I am a trained professional, after all. Making decisions on the fly based on years of research and up-to-date literature is my job; has been for a few years now.”

Tadaomi crosses his arms in front of his chest. “And what sort of treatment would you like to propose?”

“Cognitive behavioural therapy has been proven to be the effective at rewiring the thought processes that contribute to the obsessive patterns of thinking so that these processes won’t lead to the individual performing compulsive behaviours in case of full-on obsessive-compulsive disorder.. In your case, we would want to target your fixation on perfection. We would, therefore, start by my asking you not to make a daily schedule, or ditch it altogether, for the next week or so. Conversely, I would still allow you to keep your schedule regarding work but apart from that, I’m afraid you will have to go mobile-less.”

“I-I can’t do that,” Tadaomi rebuffs. “My life will fall apart if I don’t know what I’ll be doing every waking hour.”

“Thank you for admitting to that,” Kurose croons. “I must admit, it’s rare for someone with OCPD to openly say that they are afraid of things not being perfect since their standards of perfection tend to apply to themselves as well. I have a different proposal then: how about you write down ten actions or behaviours you have a fear of performing? By the time we have worked up to the number one thing that scares you the most, we will have been done with our treatment. Free of charge, of course.”

“Why?” Tadaomi asks. He can’t care if he is coming off as rude. “Why would you go through all this trouble for a stranger you’ve met at the train station?”

Kurose presses his lips together into a thin smile. Perhaps it’s a fragment of Tadaomi’s imagination but he is convinced that he saw the corners of Kurose’s lips curl up into a ghost of a smile.

“That time on the station wasn’t the first time I saw you; let’s just leave it at that. Once we have worked through to the number one activity on your list, I shall disclose my personal reasons for wanting this.” Kurose holds out his hand. “Do we have a deal?”

Every thought in Tadaomi’s head is screaming not to take Kurose’s proffered hand. This stranger has no business meddling with his life! He is simply but a pretty face that Tadaomi happened to have met by sheer chance on a hectic morning.

No. Kurose mentioned that he _has_ seen Tadaomi before. But that could mean anything. They might have been taking the same train to work at the exact same time for who knows how long. They might frequent the same coffee shop everything afternoon during a break. The possibilities are endless.

 _‘But Shirotani-san, everybody in this world is their own brand of insanity; we have simply learned to live with it by copying what others do in order to appear_ normal _.’_ The memory echoes in Tadaomi’s mind. Whatever this guy’s true motives may be, Tadaomi wants to show him that he is normal, that the therapist made a misdiagnosis.

Tadaomi shakes Kurose’s hand. “We have a deal. Let me get out a piece of paper to make the list, then.”

Kurose hands him piece of paper and a pencil. “No need. You can take as much time as you’d like to come up with your list. You can do it here or back in the comfort of your own home. It’s all up to you.”

 

 

-

 

 

“Why did you call me out here?” Tadaomi asks as he looks around. “This hardly seems like an appropriate place for a therapy session.”

Case in point, Kurose’s choice for their venue is a quaint traditional tea shop that also offers some Japanese snacks and other tidbits. Tadaomi notes that half the shop seems to be full of tittering teenaged girls whilst the other half are couples on a date.

“This threw you off guard, didn’t it?” Tadaomi doesn’t reply. “I already knew that you don’t like it whenever people don’t behave the way you expect them to. By asking you to meet me out here, we have already accomplished one of the goals for today.”

Tadaomi frowns. “Which is?”

“Number Ten: meet up with an acquaintance without planning days ahead. If you recall, I called you this morning to see if you were free this afternoon. Since I had already asked you not to schedule your time off work, you had no choice but to leave this afternoon as a blank space in your planner. Therapy isn’t simply me telling Shirotani-san what to do: it’s a collaborative process where we both strive to help you gain control over your condition, which happens to be obsession with perfection and details.”

“Lovely,” Tadaomi mumbles.

“The goal of our sessions is to help you think less obsessively about the aforementioned aspects of your personality, Shirotani-san. I’m not trying to change you into a whole new person, far from it. Like I have previously said, ensuring that everything in your life goes according to your wishes is tiring both physically and mentally. You have to change that way of thinking before it starts to affect you and people around you adversely.”

Tadaomi sighs. “Fine, I get it. Can I leave now? Mr. President is still ill and—”

The rest of his words are cut off when Kurose places his finger on Tadaomi’s lips. “Now that we’ve completed one item on your list, I am no longer here as your therapist. I wish to enjoy the rest of our time together as if we were on a date, Shirotani-san.”

Tadaomi feels his cheeks burn up. “D-date? Between two men? Preposterous, such a thing cannot happen between two men—mm!”

Once again, he finds himself unable to finish his words as something soft and slightly dry brushes up against his mouth. He soon comes to realise that Kurose is pressing his lips to his own. The first thought that crosses Tadaomi’s mind is: _‘how dare he! In such a public and crowded place, too!’_ The next one that follows quickly: ‘ _he is too good at kissing. . .’_

After what feels like forever, Kurose pulls back, a small smile gracing his lips. He licks at his upper lip as if to savour whatever imprint Tadaomi has left behind from the totally one-sided kiss.

“We-we’re in a public place!” Tadaomi bursts out as he shoves Kurose away from him.

Kurose has the audacity to chuckle. “No one cares, Shirotani-san. We do live in the twenty-first century after all. The girls at the table closes to us are actually entertaining themselves by trying to guess what roles we take in bed.”

Tadaomi feels his cheeks redden even more. “Th-that is not the point!”

“Then what _is_ the point you are trying to make, Shirotani-san?”

“You did not ask for my permission before you put your lips on mine out of the blue. I do not recall telling you that I l-like men and you assaulted me without a care. Even if I were to swing that way, there is no guarantee that you are my type.”

The corner of Kurose’s lips twitch. “If I weren’t Shirotani-san’s type, you would have thrown me off the very second I touched you since it is an action that you never could have anticipated. Humans are intelligent but we still have our roots in animals who happened to be smart.   By instinct, you would have either pushed me away or tried to hold onto me. As humans, we tend to reject things that we don’t like out of instinct.”

Tadaomi fixes the lapel of his jacket. “And if I took a liking to you, what sort of instinctual behaviour would I have exhibited?”

“Under the assumption that the behaviour was driven purely by instinct, you would have held onto me and never let me go. However, Shirotani-san is human and therefore thinks things through and kissed me back more passionately, or perhaps reciprocate with more enthusiasm.”

“I do not recall kissing you back,” Tadaomi rebuffs.

“I saw you unconsciously try to put your hand about my waist when I kissed you, Shirotani-san. Your hand was hovering merely centimetres from where my hipbone is. Your lips may have remained unmoving but your body was reacting.”

Tadaomi clenches his hands.

“Shall we stop reminiscing the recent past and order? I haven’t gone out of the downtown area in a while and it will be such a waste to go back straight away.”

Tadaomi nods slowly. Kurose’s eyes crinkle up as he smiles and walks over to the cashier.

“One black coffee and the macaron set, medium size, please. How about Shirotani-san?”

“Flat white latte please.”

The young blond with startlingly blue eyes nods as he types in their order. Tadaomi peeks as his nametag and it reads ‘ _Mika_ ’. “Today we are running a couple’s special for the sets you can see on the menu. Any two sets for the price of one. Would you like to add one more set to your order?”

Kurose scans the menu board. “Is there anything that Shirotani would like?”

Honestly, Tadaomi loves beignets. He got hooked onto them when he stayed in Baton Rouge for a business trip a while back. “Then I would like the beignet set. Could you box it up to go, please?”

“Of course. Your total comes to 1989 yen.”

Before Tadaomi has even had the chance to touch his jacket pocket, Kurose whips out a card and hands it over to Mika.

“I could have paid for my own,” Tadaomi grouses.

“I’m the one you invited Shirotani out so I think it’s fair that I pay,” is Kurose’s blasé reply.

After they receive the receipt and their wait number, Kurose leads him to a table at the back of the shop near a corner. Calling these tables might be an overestimation. The area is full of large hammocks with a wooden board installed across it.

“I do not understand why they would set up an area like this,” Tadaomi complains as he struggles to climb onto the hammock. It’s obvious that Kurose is suppressing a loud bout of laugher as he approaches Tadaomi.

“Shall we return to the main area, then?” When Tadaomi looks around, all he sees are couples canoodling on hammocks. There is one particular couple who are busy devouring each other’s faces as if they were the only ones in the world.

“No. Thank you.” Tadaomi manages to get on the damned hammock. As soon as he sees Tadaomi safely on the hammock, Kurose climbs on as well. The added weight causes the hammock to swing and shake. Tadaomi fails to keep his balance and he falls. Kurose chuckles as he catches Tadaomi mid-fall and helps him get back up. He feels something tingle down from his arm, starting at the spot that Kurose grabbed him. It was . . . electrifying.

“Sorry. I thought you might keel over if I left you be,” Kurose explains.

“Whatever,” Tadaomi clears his throat. “Thanks.”

A server with dark hair and green eyes comes by to notify them that it should be about ten minutes before their order is ready. Tadaomi nearly runs away to the washroom for half of that, mulling things over twice and then some.

Fine, let this be a date. It’s not such a bad thing. Friends can go to a coffee shop to enjoy each other’s company.

The kiss from a short while back replays in Tadaomi’s head. Warm and soft touch of Kurose’s lips, clean scent of his aftershave wafting from the crook of his neck, piercing deep gaze that see through all pretenses and barriers, gentle yet strong hands . . .

Spikes of pleasure tremble down Tadaomi’s spine. Wh-what? It can’t be that his body just reacted to a mere memory. He wants to be wrong—damn it, there is nothing he wants more in this moment—but he definitely the slightest bit aroused. Turned on.

“Dammit.”

When he returns several minutes later, he finds Kurose looking at his mobile. Upon seeing Tadaomi approach him, Kurose puts the mobile back down on the table, its screen facing downwards.

“Apparently today is a popular date day for the couples. Due to the overwhelming couples’ orders, it will take about twenty minutes from now.”

“O-okay.” _That’s not too bad_. Why does he keep thinking these things?”

 

Seventeen minutes have passed when a young man in his mid-twenties with black have carries a massive tray towards them with the blond cashier/server.

“I apologise for the prolonged wait. We have given you extra macarons as a means to make up for your lost time. I hope you will enjoy these.” The dark-haired man (probably the manager, judging by his semi-formal attire) explains. He directs his megawatt smile at Tadaomi.

Mika smiles at them shyly as he bows before returning to the kitchen area, half-hopping and half-jogging away. Tadaomi watches the blond as he throws himself into a young man with black hair and forest green eyes. He buries his face into the other man’s shoulder and nuzzles him.

Tadaomi checks the box. To his surprise there are double the number of beignets than there should be in the package.

“Isn’t this too generous even for an apology?” Tadaomi asks, reaching for one beignet and placing it on the provided plate.

“Perhaps they were in a hurry to fill the orders,” is all Kurose says. Whatever. Tadaomi isn’t the type of man to refuse extra sweets anyway.

“What are we doing?” he asks.

“We’re drinking coffee and eating macarons,” Kurose answers, smiling warmly. It looks pretty genuine, like the sunshine streaming through colourful leaves in late autumn.

“Other than that, what are we doing here?”

“It’s a date, Shirotani-san. Surely you’ve been on dates with people before.”

Uh, yes and no. Tadaomi doubts that the mixers and mass group dates he has been coerced into during his school days count as proper dates.

“I never consented to a romantic date with you,” he murmurs.

Kurose reaches out and touches Tadaomi’s lips, right in the centre. When he looks up, he sees that there is a small crumble on Kurose’s fingertip. Keeping his eyes locked in with Tadaomi’s, Kurose lifts his hand to his mouth and licks up the crumb.

Tadaomi blushes. He has never seen anyone more bashful (and dangerously charming) as Kurose.

“You had something on your lips,” Kurose explains.

“Th-thanks.”

“Anytime, Shirotani-san.”

Tadaomi gulps and drops his gaze. “I-if we are going to d-date, I think it’s probably for the best that you call me Tadaomi.” There. He said it.

“Tadaomi-san,” Kurose purrs. “That’s a beautiful name. I guess this is the part where I ask that you call me Riku.”

“Riku-kun,” Tadaomi mutters. Dammit, why does someone like Kurose have to have such a cute name?

“Now that that’s done, shall we return to our date?”

 

 

-

 

 

“You’ve reached Shirotani. Please leave your name, a message and a number to call you back on. Thank you.”

Riku sighs and crumples up a piece of paper from his case notes binder. Tadaomi-san has been busy for the past week or so and with the Valentine’s Day coming up, he wants to see Tadaomi-san again. Maybe there is a way to set up a Valentine’s date without it startling the man too much.

“Hi, it’s Riku. I just wanted to check your availability for this Sunday. Please call or text me when you are free. Have a good day.”

He puts his mobile down and stares at the screen for a while. He is being too impatient. Tadaomi-san is a hard man to keep, he knew that from the start. There is no point in trying to rush this.

With that in mind, Riku opens up his laptop and opens up the file folder that contains all of the newest research publications and updates that he needs to read up on.

 

 

-

 

 

Sunday . . . that’s the Saint Valentine’s Day, isn’t it?

Tadaomi ponders that for a moment. Yeah, it’s a big deal for couples but since both of them are men, they shouldn’t fuss over it so much. He is going to buy some chocolates for Riku but that’s as far as he’ll go.

Hopefully he and Riku are both on the same page.

 

 

-

 

 

Tadaomi stares at Riku. They are clearly not on the same page.

Riku is holding a small bouquet of red, yellow, and variegated tulips as well as a small box of Swiss chocolates. All that Tadaomi has to offer is a box of assorted chocolates.

“Don’t worry too much about it,” Riku says as he they exchange gifts. “As I keep reminding you, I am the one who initiated all of this so it’s natural that I think of you more often that you do of me.”

Tadaomi frowns. That is not true at all. Half out of spite and half out of impulse, he raises himself onto his tiptoes and kisses Riku on the lips. When he pulls back, Riku seems surprised much to Tadaomi’s satisfaction.

“Happy Valentine’s, Riku-kun.”

“Same goes for you, Tadaomi-san.”

Tadaomi even takes Riku’s hand into his. “Where are we going today?”

“I have made a reservation at a seafood restaurant not too far away from here. Would you like to walk or take a cab?”

“Walking is fine,” Tadaomi smiles. “Ah, come in.”

Tadaomi browses through his kitchen cabinets and cupboards to find a vase for the tulips. Riku takes his shoes off slowly and takes a seat on one of the leather sofas. By the time Tadaomi has filled the vase with water and decided to put it in the centre of the breakfast bar (he didn’t want to buy a dinner table when it’s just him living in the flat), Riku has wandered back over to stand behind Tadaomi.

“You smell good, Tadaomi-san,” Riku whispers.

 “Th-thanks. Riku-kun smells nice as well.”

Riku smiles. “Shall we start walking then?”

 

As Riku said, it’s around ten minutes to the restaurant. En route, they keep up a small talk, and Tadaomi feels the knot of nerves and a few layers of his defense chip away. Maybe it’s just Riku or maybe it’s something that all therapists can do, but simply being by Riku’s side is enough to help Tadaomi feel at ease. Peaceful.

“Were you busy this week?” Riku asks.

“Ah. Mr. President is still in the hospital. A lot of his duties are now my responsibility now.”

“You should still take care of yourself and sleep enough. There are shadows underneath your eyes. It’s sympathy-inducing in a cute way.”

Riku caresses the area around Tadaomi’s eye gingerly with his thumb. Why is it that every time they meet, Tadaomi’s body reacts so weirdly?

“Are you cold?” Riku takes off his scarf without any hesitation and wraps it around Tadaomi’s head and neck. Tadaomi was already wearing one so he has no doubt that he must look comical. To add to that, Riku has wound the scarf starting below Tadaomi’s eyes so that his visibility is now severely limited.

Tadaomi squeezes Riku’s hand, hoping that he won’t notice. When he glances sideways, he catches a glimpse of Riku’s smiling face.

“We’re almost there,” Riku reassures him.

The venue turns out to be much posher than what Tadaomi was expecting. Thankfully, Tadaomi is wearing a button-up and slacks but Riku is wearing a leather jacket, buttoned shirt, and black jeans. It’s a good thing that he looks like a heartthrob in his get-up.

The maître d’ herself greets them and leads them away to their table at the very back of the restaurant. Their table set-up is pretty luxurious with a bottle of champagne and a frosted-glass jug of water awaiting them. The centre piece is a floral arrangement similar to the bouquet that Riku has given Tadaomi earlier.

“I fear that you spent too much money on me already,” Tadaomi confesses. “I’m starting to feel a bit sorry.”

“Not a problem. I like Tadaomi-san so much, so please take this as a token of my affection.”

“Ah, I understand.”

Every item on the menu is ridiculously overpriced and top-notch five-star quality. Tadaomi manages to find one thing on the menu (some kind of seafood pasta served with fancy fish) and orders it. Riku orders a crayfish thing without batting eyelash.

“Do you usually go for luxury foods?”

“Not at all. I only try to look cool and cultured when I go on dates. But this is the first time that I have gone this far.”

“And why is that?”

Riku leans forwards across the table. “This is the first time in my whole life thus far that I have desired someone with this intensity. Also, Tadaomi-san is an iron wall that is highly resistant to any attempts of demolition. From a psychological background, it seems to me that Tadaomi-san rejects the very phenomenon people call ‘love’ and stay away from it. The stubborn, challenge-seeker part of me wants to take that wall down and hold your heart in my hands. I want to start a fire in your heart that burns as hot, no even hotter and more passionately than the fires that you have started in my own heart. I want the fires to consume us whole until I’m the only thing you’ll ever yearn for.”

Tadaomi gulps as Riku takes his hand and lifts it up to his mouth. He stares blankly at the younger man in front of him as Riku places a gentle, long-lasting kiss on his palm.

“And what if I say no?”

“I’m afraid that that is not an option.”

 

 

-

 

 

“Wait, wait, Kuro—”

Tadaomi is cut off when Riku kisses him, pushing him further inside of the hotel room.

Honestly, he should have anticipated something like this. It is Valentine’s after all. The fact that the restaurant was a part of a hotel also should have rung a bell inside his head.

Otherwise, Tadaomi would not be being kissed senseless by someone who is determined to steal his heart.

And he is doing a rather good job, rendering Tadaomi powerless with his impassioned kisses and light touches that are driving Tadaomi ever closer to the edge. Case in point, Riku fingers the hem of Tadaomi’s shirt, as if asking for permission to take it off.

“What is the point of this?” Tadaomi gasps when Riku eventually stops stealing his breath away with kisses.

“You hate it when people change plans last minute. It was at number seven or higher, I believe. How do you feel about sex on the second date?”

Tadaomi blushes. His mind flashes back to the kiss they shared at that café and the intense gazes that Tadaomi has caught Riku in the midst of during dinner. It’s not that unsettling that there is a man who wants to have sex with him. What is unsettling is the fact that Tadaomi _wants_ to. Have sex with Riku, that is.

So he submits to Riku’s kisses and help him doff his shift, swiftly followed by his trousers and socks. It’s almost ridiculous to see how Riku is still fully dressed. When Tadaomi is about point that out, Riku resumes showering him with kisses.

“Haa, Riku-kun, too . . . clothes off,” Tadaomi rasps.

“Is that what you want?” Riku affirms. He light curls his fingers around Tadaomi’s growing erection over the thin layer of fabric. “Or perhaps you are lying to me again”

Riku grabs a hold of Tadaomi’s hands and raises them above Tadaomi’s head. “No!” If Riku keeps this up, he’ll be able to see everything!

And that terrifies Tadaomi.

Not being control of his own body and emotions . . . no, he can’t let this happen.

“Number three: let someone else be in charge.” Riku recites. “Will you relinquish your control over your own body for just one night?”

Tadaomi squeezes his eyes shut. He nods.

Slowly, painstakingly slowly, Riku takes off Tadaomi’s damp underwear. Tadaomi’s dick twitches as it is exposed to the night air. Riku sweeps his hand up and down the inside of Tadaomi’s thighs without making contact with his nether regions. Minutes crawl past but to Tadaomi’s dismay, Riku hasn’t gone much further than the teasing touches. Rather, he has moved onto kiss, nip, and caress Tadaomi’s chest, neck and hair.

“N-no more,” Tadaomi breathes out. “I don’ like i’,”

“What don’t you like?” Riku asks, halting all movements. He kneels up and frees Tadaomi’s hands.

“Why d’you always tease me so . . . makin’ m’ wan’ more . . .” It’s hard to formulate thoughts, let alone verbal words when it feels as though his body is floating on clouds, thoughts merely wisps of smoke and wind.

“What would you like me to do?” Riku smiles. “Can you show me yourself?”

Tadaomi bites down on his lower lip. If he were still in the right state of mind, he never would have succumbed to this. He swallows his pride and drops his hand to his cock. Riku nods, and Tadaomi allows himself to wrap his hand around himself and pump it slowly.

“Haaa--nnngh!” Riku puts his thumb over the slit of Tadaomi’s dick. “D-don’t—ah! No!”

It drives him crazy, not being able to just let it go. He squirms, trying to get away from Riku but Riku is too strong and determined.

“Do you realise how euphoric you look right now?” Riku mutters. His cheeks are tinted pink and he seems to be breathing irregularly. “I feel like I’m close to coming myself.”

With his thumb still pressing into the top of Tadaomi’s erection, Riku undoes the buckle of his belt and pushes his trousers down. He lowers his underwear just enough to align his hard cock with Tadaomi’s. It’s unbearably hot and rigid . . . only adding to the indescribable pleasure that has been building up inside of Tadaomi. Slick, lewd sounds fill the air as Riku starts to thrust against Tadaomi’s cock.

“Le-le’ go! I wan-want to come—”

“I still have lots I want to do to you,” Riku cuts him off. “I feel like if I let you have your way this instant, we’ll be done for the night.”

“N-no! More . . . I want—hnn!”

Riku releases his hand, causing Tadaomi to come all over his stomach. The sensation of something wet and warm splashing on his stomach vaguely registers in Tadaomi’s mind. He is too swept up by the overwhelming pleasure and its ghosts thrumming in his veins. He knows that there is much more to come but he can’t take anymore than this.

“Tadaomi-san,” Riku’s gentle voice lulls Tadaomi back to his senses. He blinks slowly as Riku’s concerned face comes into focus. “I thought you had passed out. But I think we don’t have to worry about that. I didn’t know that I could induce you to enter subspace, albeit partially, this early on.

“Excuse me?” Tadaomi’s voice sounds weak and shaky even to his own ears.

“Never mind that. How do you feel?”

Tadaomi opens his mouth to answer to shuts it. He’s afraid to admit just how good it felt. If he says it aloud, it becomes the truth and reality.

“You’re afraid,” Riku pinpoints. “It’s okay to be afraid because I’m here with you, Tadaomi-san. I promised you that more is to come. The real question is: can you hold on to your end of the promise?”

Riku lowers his gaze and Tadaomi follows his line of sight. To his embarrassment, his dick is already half-hard, as if asking for more in response to Riku’s words.

“As usual, your body is more honest than your mouth,” Riku comments. He places his hand on Tadaomi’s stomach and gathers up their mixed ejaculates on the tips of his fingers. As Tadaomi gawps in disbelief, Riku lifts his hand to his mouth and sucks his fingers into his mouth. The way Riku sucks on his fingers and moans around them is enough to make Tadaomi’s body react eagerly. Once again, Tadaomi feels his body submit to carnal desires that Riku has brought about.

Riku drops his hand with a slight shake of his head. He trails his wet fingers from Tadaomi’s collar bones down to his groin. A loud gasp falls out of Tadaomi’s mouth when Riku’s fingers prod at the space behind his balls.

“Have you any idea how two men have sex, Tadaomi-san?” Riku whispers, his lips grazing the shell of Tadaomi’s ear. “In order to do so, this place”—Riku moves his fingers further down until he is touching Tadaomi’s hole— “needs to loosen up and soften enough for me to enter. Think you can allow such a thing?”

Heat floods Tadaomi’s cheeks. “H-how?”

His body tenses up when something slippery and cold forces its way into his hole. It’s not much but it’s more than enough to make Tadaomi want to escape the sensation.

“Please relax. At this rate, it will take the entire night before we actually do it.”

“E-easy for you to say,” Tadaomi grits out as he closes his eyes. Riku pushes his finger further in, wiggling it back and forth as if he is trying to get Tadaomi accustomed to the feeling of that.

“Does it hurt?” Riku asks. His voice sounds like it’s further away than it was a minute ago. Tadaomi can hear clothes rustle and the sound of something opening.

“No.” Tadaomi raises his arm to his face. “It feels weird.”

Especially when Riku curls his finger. A jolt of strange sensation sparks through Tadaomi’s body. He feels his body bow up when Riku repeats the action.

“Wha—no! Stop it. I-it feels weird,” Tadaomi cries out.   Every time Riku jabs at that particular spot inside of him, incomprehensible pleasure shoots up his spine. He feels a blunt pressure against the rim of his opening, followed by more of that strange sensation.

“Weird in a bad way or a good way?” Riku purrs. It’s dangerous. Riku’s voice is dripping with sex.

“I-I don’—ah!”

Riku forces Tadaomi’s arm away from his face. His eyes are burning up with lust and a part of Tadaomi is gleeful about the fact that it was none other than he, Tadaomi Shirotani, who reduced Riku to such a state.

He wonders if he looks as shamelessly aroused as Riku looks.

His vision whites out when Riku rams his fingers into that delightful spot one more time. He realises after a long moment that he came again and that the loud, breathless moans are coming from him.

“I think you rather enjoyed it,” Riku croons. He withdraws his fingers and for a brief second, Tadaomi finds himself wanting to stop Riku.

Stop him from what, exactly?

Tadaomi shudders.

“Can we still go on?” Riku asks. His hand is already reaching for his own erection. “Or should we stop.”

“S-stop,” Tadaomi stutters. “Please stop now.” _Or else you might change me completely._

Riku’s eyes narrows. “I understand. Let me help you clean up.”

Tadaomi lets him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *whispers* that chapter 28 raws though


	2. too young to Give into Forever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER:  
> Some scenes do follow the manga but obviously, I don’t own any parts of _Ten Count_.

Tadaomi hasn’t seen Kurose in almost a month.  Part of it is due to his taking over the president’s duties despite his discharge from the hospital.  (The doctors recommended that he take a few weeks off work to recuperate fully and focus on relaxing as not to risk a relapse).  Part of it is due to his fear of change, of Kurose.

He hates himself for not being able to forget that the thing happened.  Every time he closes his eyes at night, his thoughts stray back to the hotel room faster than darkness chasing light through the streets at dusk.  Kurose has not tried to contact him since that night and Tadaomi knows that his so-called symptoms have grown worse.  These days, he lives with his mobile attached to his hands.  He needs to check his mobile every ten minutes or else he will start to panic at the thought of his entire day going awry.  It really doesn’t help that the company business has been booming, leaving Tadaomi more and more responsibility with each passing week.

It’s a Friday afternoon when Tadaomi has to go meet up with business partners at a location quite some ways from his own office.  As luck would have it, it is pouring down.  Many radio news stations warn the listeners of an incoming typhoon but Tadaomi pays it no heed.  He does, however, scowl down towards the ground as he watches the hems of his trousers soak up the rainwater and mud as he hurries inside the building.

The meeting lasts twelve minutes longer than it should have.  The associate that he had the pleasure of meeting is an amicable young lady who seemed to gain confidence the longer the meeting went on.  Tadaomi is proud of himself for closing a successful deal that should benefit both of their companies in the long run, which helps distract him from his own fatigue and wanting to go home already.  He is smiling as he steps into the lift and begins to type out a report to Mr. President on his mobile.

The lift stops a few floor down, letting a young man with dark hair and good build step in.

Of course it had to be Kurose.

Tadaomi feels his cheeks flare up with heat.  Okay, this doesn’t mean that the younger man saw him as Tadaomi is practically crammed up against the far corner.  The descent is too long for his liking and Tadaomi curses the fact that the building is twenty storeys tall.

Halfway down the descent, however, the lift stumbles into a halt.  The lights flicker and Tadaomi is certain that he heard claps of thunder shake the entire building, or, at the very least, the lift shaft.

The emergency phone rings and Kurose is quick to answer.

“Yes?” he answers calmly.  The lift is not exactly spacey so Tadaomi can hear the static interfering with the operator’s words.  “I understand.  Thank you and please keep us posted.”

Oh crud.  So he noticed.

“I’m sorry, Shirotani-san,” Kurose apologises as he turns to face Tadaomi.  “They say that this area is experiencing a power outage due to the thunderstorm outside.  Some of the power lines have been damaged and there is no guarantee as to when the power will come back now.  Right now they are trying their best to locate and activate the back-up generator.”

Tadaomi nods.  He drops his head from the corner of his vision, he sees Kurose’s lips curl up into a wry tight-lipped smile.

“How have you been?  It has been weeks since we last saw each other.”

“Busy,” Tadaomi responds.  The walls are starting to close in around him and it takes all he has to not start hyperventilating.  If he does that, he will surely use up all of the limited air supply in the tiny space, won’t he?

“Is the president still sick, then?” Kurose prompts.

Tadaomi nods, and then shakes his head no.  It’s too late.  His heart is racing in his chest and he tries his best to be discreet as he unbuttons his coat and the suit jacket beneath it.

Another clap of thunder causes the building to tremble.  Tadaomi gasps when he loses his balance and slumps forwards.  As expected, Kurose’s warm, strong arms are there to hold him up.

“Are you alright, Shirotani-san?” he asks, an eyebrow raised. 

“I-I’m fine,” he breathes out.  The floor is spinning under him and he has no choice but to grip Kurose’s forearms so that he won’t fall completely.

“You are not,” Kurose mutters.  “Have you always been scared of confined spaces?”

Tadaomi nods.  Kurose makes a sound that is a mix between a sigh and a laugh.  “You are too stubborn for your own good, Tadaomi-san.   When will you realise that I am here to support you through anything?”

There is an unmistakable sensation of soft lips pressed to the top of his head, followed by Kurose’s arms wrapping around him.  Tadaomi stands, frozen in place for a moment.  Can he allow himself to believe Kurose’s words?  Is there a person out there who actually cares for him this much?

“Ku-Kurose-kun . . .” he lets his words trail off, hands lifted to rest on the small of Kurose’s back.

“It’s okay, Tadaomi-san,” Kurose murmurs.  His embrace is so warm, so comforting.  Never has Tadaomi known that another human being’s mere presence can be this calming and soothing, brushing away all of his fears and worries.  “I’m here and you are not alone.  Just focus on breathing slowly through your nose.  Imagine your muscles relaxing from the tips of your hands and feet and work your way up to the core of your body.”

Tadaomi follows the instructions to the best of his abilities.  It’s miraculous how he can feel himself relaxing further into Kurose’s arms as his breathing and pulse revert to their regular pace.  He notices that he is surrounded by Kurose and that the subtle scent from his neck is somewhat plausible.

He has no recollection of how much time has passed.  By the time he has come out of his panicked daze, the lift is on the ground level and Kurose’s strong arms are leading him out of it.  People are crowding them, asking questions but Kurose fields them expertly.  He tries to protest when Kurose picks him up and carries him out of the building but he can’t find the strength to speak the words aloud.

They are in a cab, presumably to Tadaomi’s place, when Kurose speaks up.  “What would you like for me to do?”

Tadaomi ponders that.  Realistically, he wants to be home so that he can call it a day.  However, as much as he wants to deny it, being near Kurose calms him down and makes him feel . . . normal.  Cared for.

_Loved._

He jumps, causing Kurose to stare at him with concern in his eyes.  Such a thing cannot exist for a person like himself.

“Tadaomi-san?” Kurose asks.

“I w-want to stay with you,” he murmurs. 

Kurose smiles.  “Thank you.”

“For what?” he blinks up at the other man.

“Everything.  You’ll see.”

 

 

-

 

 

Kurose’s place is in a state of slight disarray, which Tadaomi find endearing somehow.  There is a clutter of shoes at the entryway and outerwear hung inside a closet close to the door.  A few dishes are placed inside the sink and piles of paper cover the sofas in the living room area.

“I apologise for the mess,” Kurose murmurs, his voice sounding right behind Tadaomi’s ear.  Warm puffs of air caress the side of his neck and Tadaomi swears that he can feel the warmth radiate from the younger man.

Tadaomi shakes his head.  He realises that he has been clinging to Kurose, fingers digging in to the soft material of his coat.

Deafening silence fills the room as Tadaomi reaches up to take his coat off.  His hands are unsteady, and he can’t seem to get his fingers to move properly.

“Let me help,” Kurose murmurs.  He is standing right behind Tadaomi, causing his back to be flush against Kurose’s torso as Kurose reaches around Tadaomi to take his coat off for him.  He crouches down slowly as his hands than travel downwards to unbuckle his belt as though it were a natural progression.

“W-wait,” Tadaomi scrambles to stop Kurose’s hands.

“Yes?” Kurose looks up, his head level with Tadaomi’s belt.

“I don’t want to do this.”

“Relax, Tadaomi-san,” Kurose smirks.  “You don’t want to sleep in your full suit, do you?”

Tadaomi’s face lights up with red.  “Oh.”

The smirk grows into a full, genuine smile.  He tugs the trousers down and stands back up.  “Let me get you something comfortable to change into.”

Tadaomi breathes out a sigh of relief when Kurose disappears out of his sight. 

“Oh, by the way,” Kurose calls out from his bedroom, making Tadaomi jump.  “I preferred it when you called me Riku.”

“G-got it.”

Kurose comes back out with a long sleeved t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants a minute later. 

“I’m going to go take a shower,” Kurose—Riku announces.  “Feel free to make yourself comfortable in my room.  Unfortunately, my couches are not ideal for sleeping so we will have to share a bed.  Will that be okay?”

Tadaomi nods.  He has never shared a bed with someone else before.  Not since he was a kid, anyway.  This is different.  He will be sharing a bed with someone he is . . . interested in. 

 _Dating_ , his mind whispers.

He needs to calm down.  This does not have to mean much.  Two grown men can share one single bed without it turning into a physical affair.  He can do this.

What little resolve he had shatters when he sees Riku emerge from the bathroom with only a towel tied around his hips.   While he has never thought of himself as someone who appreciates outer beauty of people—all he looks for in people is whether or not they can do the job assigned to them since dating wasn’t even a priority for him until very recently—but with Riku, well it would be a shame if he let such fine specimen go unnoticed.

“Would you like to use the shower as well?” Riku offers.  He uses a different, smaller towel to dry his hair.  Tiny rivulets and droplets of water are still clinging to his skin, only adding to the surreal quality of his beauty.

He nods. 

Tadaomi wastes time in the shower, nearly scalding himself and scrubbing himself raw with shower gel that smells like Riku.  Whilst a part of him feels bad for using up too much water, what he can’t handle is the reality of getting out of the shower and facing Riku.

Once he has calmed down enough to be around Riku, Tadaomi exits the shower stall.  He spots neatly folded clothes that he had forgotten to take with him when he came into the bathroom.

As soon as Tadaomi puts on Riku’s clothes, a small issue arises.  Both prove to be too big on Tadaomi.  Kurose smiles as he watches Tadaomi toddle into his bedroom, trying his best not to trip over the too-long hems of his sweatpants.

“You look cute in my clothes,” Riku comments.

“Th-thanks. . . ?”

Tadaomi perches on the very corner, the spot that is the farthest away from where Riku is sat.  Something that is a cross between amusement, mischief, and other unreadable emotions glint in Riku’s eyes as he crawls over to Tadaomi on all fours.  He pulls Tadaomi further inside the bed and sits in front of him.

“First time sleeping over at someone else’s place?” Riku asks.  He rolls up the sleeves, fingers tracing up the veins on Tadaomi’s arms.

“P-please, stop that,” Tadaomi manages.  His breath hitches in his throat when Riku’s fingertips circle around the crook of his elbow.

“I’m not doing anything sexual,” Riku points out.  Nonetheless, he withdraws his hands and lets him go.  Tadaomi scoots towards the pillows, earning himself a warm smile from Riku.  The younger man retreats to his previous position, but now lying down on his back with his body tilted towards Tadaomi instead.  Tadaomi tries to appear nonchalant as he leans forwards and hugs his knees.  When the position proves to be uncomfortable within the minute, he stretches out his arms, all too mindful of where Riku is on the bed.

“Tadaomi-san, however, is doing everything to rile me up, it seems,” Riku mutters.

“What do you mean?” Tadaomi blurts out.

Riku reaches out with one arm and tugs at the neck of the shirt Tadaomi is wearing.  “My clothes are to big on you so when you lean forwards like that, you are pretty much giving me a free show.”

Tadaomi recoils.  He pushes Riku’s hand away and throws himself down onto the mattress.  He rests his head on an unoccupied pillow and turns away from Riku.  “Good night,” he snaps.  Why won’t his heart slow down?

Riku places a hand on Tadaomi’s shoulder.  “Did that scare you?  Or are you turned on?”

Tadaomi refuses to play into Riku’s hand.  “Good night,” he repeats.

“Good night, Tadaomi-san,” Riku laughs.  “Sweet dreams.”

 

 

-

 

 

Tadaomi awakes to the smell of a western-style breakfast and bright sunlight that is peeking in from the windows.  He is covered with a blanket even though he does not remember making the conscious decision to get under the covers.  Normally he would hurry to the bathroom to look presentable before he rushes through breakfast and goes off to work.  Since it is Saturday, however, he stays in bed until he feels fully awake.

And also because he does not want to walk out to the kitchen and see Riku at this moment.

He knows that waking up with erections is quite normal for men but it is much more difficult to deal with when he is not at his own home. 

He is about to sneak away to the bathroom when the door opens.  Riku is wearing nothing but a pair of worn-in pyjama trousers and smirking as he announces: “Breakfast is ready.  I was not sure if Tadaomi-san has woken up yet.”

“Thanks.  I’ll be there in a minute,” Tadaomi answers.  He bunches up the blanket in what he hopes is a discreet manner.

He does not miss the way Riku’s eyes glint with a newly formed idea.  “Would you like for me to wait until you are done, ah, relieving yourself or would you like for me to stay and help out?  Lend a hand, if you will.”

Tadaomi isn’t granted the chance to answer as the smoke detector beeps in the kitchen, causing Riku to run out with a flurry of curses falling from his mouth.  Tadaomi is definitely not in the mood anymore and he is able to get out of the bed and walk into the kitchen without having to worry about being erect.

The kitchen is filled with translucent smoke and whatever breakfast Riku was preparing is now blackened past the point of edibleness.  Tadaomi can’t help it.  He chuckles at the sight of Riku trying to turn off the detector by opening up the windows. Upon realising that Tadaomi is in the kitchen area, he throws a sheepish smile over his shoulder before he goes back to running around the apartment.

“Sorry about that,” Riku gestures at the burnt food.  “Is toast and coffee okay with you?”

Tadaomi nods.  “Do you usually cook for yourself?”

“Not really.  I am not the best cook in the world as you have just witnessed.  Like I’ve told you, I like you, therefore, I will try my best to impress you.  I want us to have a connection that goes beyond that of a therapist and a client.”

Tadaomi realises that he has been blatantly staring at Riku when the younger man pauses and walks over to him.  He waves a hand in front of Tadaomi’s face.  Tadaomi doesn’t react much to it other than blinking a couple times.  A smile graces Riku’s face before he leans in, closing the distance between their lips slowly.  _Is he giving me time to run away?_ Tadaomi wonders.

“Have I succeeded?” Riku asks, their lips less than a centimetre apart.  He doesn’t wait for Tadaomi to reply before he presses his lips against Tadaomi’s, barely moving them until Tadaomi lifts his hands to rest them on Riku’s biceps.  Riku relaxes under Tadaomi’s touch and starts to move his lips lazily, with his hands now on either side of Tadaomi’s face.  It isn’t all that difficult to keep up with Riku’s pace, if Tadaomi were to be honest.  So he stands up on his tiptoes, throwing his arms around Riku’s neck to kiss Riku back with more fervour. 

Despite the way his heart is racing from their kiss, Tadaomi feels at ease.  Why is it that when he is with Riku, his mind lets go of all of his worries?  He used to think that it was normal to be worried about his life and having to attain perfection.

Now, he is not so sure.

“You are thinking too hard, Tadaomi-san,” Riku whispers.  His thumb sweep across Tadaomi’s cheek as he tenderly angles Tadaomi’s face down and kisses his forehead.   “Care to share what is worrying you at this moment?”

“You,” Tadaomi replies in a heartbeat, unhesitating.

Riku brushes his lips up to the top of Tadaomi’s hair.  “What about me?”

Tadaomi gulps.  “I don’t know.  You . . . being around you helps me relax.  Is it a therapist thing or a Kurose Riku thing?” he murmurs.

Riku chuckles.  “I cannot answer that; you know the answer, don’t you?”

 

 

-

 

 

“Tadaomi-san, when will you be home today?” Riku asks as Tadaomi puts down a pen.  He has been making amendments to a partnership agreement that he has been entrusted to proofread and modify as he sees fit.  He would very much appreciate a night-in.

“No later than six, I hope,” he answers with a mix of suppressed laugh and sigh.  “I did let Mr. President know that I would appreciate it if I could go home on time today.”

“That is great,” Riku encourages.  “And I assume that you have not been planning the evening during your breaks?”

 _Damn_.  “Maybe during the afternoon coffee break,” he confesses.

“You shouldn’t feel guilty,” Riku reassures him, practically purring.  “Behaviours don’t change overnight, or in a few weeks.  We will work on it as long as you allow me to Tadaomi-san.”

“Okay,” Tadaomi breathes out.  “I will see you after six.”

“Thank you, Tadaomi-san.  I look forward to speaking with you in person.”

“Me too.”

Tadaomi hangs up and returns his full attention to the pieces of paper in front of him.  Seven minutes to six o’clock.  Seven days since they decided to end his therapy in favour of properly dating.  Seven days of uncertainty but also an equal amount, if not more, of exhilaration and sense of ease in his life all thanks to Riku.

He smiles as he looks away from the clock on the wall.  If he does not want to be distracted when he is with Riku, he had better finish up his work.  After all, Riku doesn’t like it when Tadaomi thinks too much about work on his time off.

So he turns his mobile over and gets to work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> friendly reminder: this is a parallel universe fan fiction, meaning I took the characters from an amazingly written manga and re-characterised a bit to for the story I saw in my head. that’s how fan fictions work: we re-create and re-imagine the world we enjoy for our own amusement.


End file.
